Nukes for Kooks
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Venezuelan fascist dictator Oogo Chavez has just announced a joint venture with the Soviet Union Russia to develop “peaceful” nuclear power. At last, his poor, energy-starved country can stop shivering and provide power for its citizenry:
Venezuela President Hugo Chavez said the South American country plans to develop a nuclear energy program with Russia and doesn’t want to build an atomic bomb….
“We’re not going to make an atomic bomb, so don’t bother us like with Iran,” he said on state television. “We’re going to develop nuclear energy with peaceful purposes.” [Hey, if you can't trust a lying socialist dictator, who can you trust?]
So a Latin American country…
- In our own backyard –
- Controlled by a strongman who has made himself “president for life” by winning fantasy elections –
- Who hates America above all things on this planet –
- Who has a close working relationship with Iran, a country working feverishly to develop a nuclear weapon –
- Who has announced his intention to ship gasoline to Iran, so that we cannot use the Herman Option to stop Iran from getting its nukes (though I don’t understand why, if we decided to blockade Iran — which admittedly the current American president would never do — we couldn’t keep Venezuelan oil tankers out as well) –
- Who has invited Hezbollah, the world’s largest and most aggressive Islamist terrorist group, into Venezuela to “counter” American power in the western hemisphere –
- Who brutally oppresses his own people with fascist policies (nationalizing industries — both domestic and foreign owned) while spouting pseudo-Marxist rhetoric –
- Who has exported putative “Bolivarian” revolution to a dozen other Latin American countries –
- And whose country is swimming in oil and natural gas (which is the only reason it’s still in existence, despite its abysmal economy) –
…Now wants nuclear power as well. But it assures us that it’s “not going to make an atomic bomb;” and orders our hapless, cringing President Barack H. Obama — who has just agreed to enter into extortion negotiations with one member of the axis of evil trying to develop nuclear weapons (North Korea), and appears to have utterly capitulated on nuclear weapons for the other remaining member of the axis (Iran) — not to interfere (”so don’t bother us like with Iran”).
I’m quite certain that the Obamacle, furthering his standard policy of friendly negotiations with all of our bitterest enemies (while snubbing and working against the interests of our closest allies), will immediately announce a diplomatic initiative to Oogo… run by the WMD Czar, Gary Samore, and a newly appointed Venezuela Czar, Jalapeño Spice, rather than by the Secretary of State (whoever he is).
The negotiating team (Samantha Power, Van Jones, Sen. Al Franken, and Keith Olbermann) will insist that Venezuela and Russia issue ironclad assurances, written in bold black ink on creamy white paper, that they never, ever, ever will help Oogo Chavez obtain nuclear weapons.
Oogo will be brought to the White House thirty-eight times over the next two years, where he will be feted and wined and dined. Then Obama will bow at the waste, kiss Oogo’s Bolivarian hand, and call him “your highness.”
In the end, the One will get his agreement, signed at the Western White House (Al Capone’s old headquarters in Chicago). He — Obama, not Capone — will hold the piece of paper up for CNN to video, and his teleprompter will announce that Obama has achieved “peace in our time.” We will then launch a massive foreign-aid money drop into Venezuela, to ensure they have enough aluminum tubing and nuclear-blast analysis software for the venture to succeed.
What could possibly go wrong?
